Always get up again!

'Reading week' ...and I have a rest from travelling down to ESSL. 

A couple of days ago, in need of a break, I headed outside from my day of reading into the best sort of day, in my opinion - cloudless, azure-blue sky, glorious sunshine straining to be warm but with a crisp sharpness, daring to bid goodbye to Winter and beckoning a tentative welcome to Spring. I felt joyful to the point - I don't know if you have ever have these moments - of feeling like pretending to be in a musical, dancing along the street before bursting into song, and proclaiming that this is the best day to be alive and - was I not already married - expecting the love of my life to be waiting for me at the end of the road! (As it was, I'd left the love of my life earning a crust in front of his computer back at the house.) BUT meanwhile it was still a glorious day, especially after so many rainy days!

This is actually my local High Street

Buoyed by the afterglow of expectancy following the mission 10 days ago, I asked my spirit to be alert to any conversations or encounters Holy Spirit might want to send my way whilst I was out for my 'quick walk.'

Apart from a couple of friendly exchanges in shops and a chat with a friend, nothing really seemed to present itself. As I headed home, I noticed that the traffic flow had stopped as a man hobbled slowly across the road, his right hand protruding very limply and looking almost purple, from a linen sling. He almost dragged one of his legs behind him as he crossed the road. I suddenly wondered if this was someone God had sent my way to speak to and pray for. Could I pray for him and see his hand and leg restored to full strength? 

Walking on, I kept looking back to check he had reached the other side of the road, half wondering if I had gone too far to return to him and wrestled with my thoughts.....

...One dilemma I have is that Jesus healed those who CAME TO Him. Could I just walk up in the street, offer to help and pray without any sort of invite!?! ...

I stopped to watch what he would do next, seeing him peer into a shop window. I stood and wondered what to do. I stood asking myself questions I would have been better asking myself earlier, in preparation for something like this happening. Can I go up to him and offer to pray? Didn't Jesus wait to be asked? What if...?

In retrospect, I see how our minds, as intelligent as they may normally be, can talk us out of so much from an earthly stance...and by the time I looked up again, getting my nerve up and deciding, 'Have no fear!!!', he had disappeared.

I spent some of the walk home kicking myself and feeling I had let this guy down - and God too; God, because He got no extra glory and the guy because his limbs remained restricted. I played over in my mind the amazing outcome there could have been for that guy had I stepped aside from my fear of 'What if...?' and was reminded of the quote; 

'Stop telling God how big your problems are and tell your problems how big God is.'

So, going to bed that night, still brewing, I picked up one of the books I am currently reading, 'Unwrapping Lazarus', opening it up to where my 'bookmark' rested. I was about to set the bookmark aside but my eyes were drawn to it. It is one of my scripture memory cards. On it was written Psalm 25:3a - 
'Defeat does not come to those that trust in You'

I almost put it down but hovered with it awhile. Then, in 'one of those moments', I turned it over and read another verse... (I use both sides)

'I tell you the truth. Anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do greater things than these because I go to the Father'

John 14:12

I held the card in my hand for a few moments, turned it back and back again; reading and re-reading; suddenly having a sense of angel faces straining in on me over my shoulder and willing me on. 

'Get it? Get it? GET IT YET???'

Yes. I got it and I smiled. (the angels sat back with a big sigh of relief and a bit of backslapping!) I was not defeated. My Father hadn't given up on me. When I am faithless, He remains faithful. My tank of Hope and Expectation was flushed full. I have prayed for the guy in the street and part of my prayer is that he will come by again on Saturday during our time out with the Healing on the Streets team.

Then just today, when asking someone's advice about some things I am questioning, I was encouraged by a verse they shared from John 5 and in particular verse 6.

Jesus is near a pool that is frequented by disabled people. He approaches one man who has been an invalid for 38 years and ASKS him, 'Do you want to get well?'

I must have read that so many times before and not registered what happens! (If I was God, I would be smacking my forehead with my palm at this point, but I know HE wouldn't - and it as well for mankind that I am NOT God!!)

On top of that, I was reminded (same someone) Jesus gave us the GO! His heart to bring the Kingdom of God to the world is BIG. He didn't choose the world's obvious choices of people to pass that message on. His team includes me! The best conversations to have about it are with Him. I'll enjoy that. So will He. But we'll enjoy having others in on the chat too.