Crushing Grapes

The other week, for some unmemorable reason, I was trying to recall the identity of an entertainer from the days of my youth who had the catchphrase, 'Ooh - I am SO excited I could crush a grape!' Being me, I couldn't rest until I knew so hit Google. It was a guy called Stu Francis. I used to love watching him as a teen. He was so funny whether it was on one of those satisfying variety shows or on Crackerjack - THE show for all kids to watch at five to five on a Friday. What brought a bigger smile to my face was the song he sang which included all the funny catchphrases he used to use - have a look and prepare to cringe. Hard to believe that was his 'latest single' though if it was re-released nowadays, it might make Christmas Number One. Stranger tracks have done it!

This grape-crushing phrase came back to me this week...I will clarify later.

The Mendip Hills.
Click on the picture to enlarge it if you want to see it better

Life at the moment seems to drift in and out of periods of uncertainty about life, family, future - very like the picture above. Way out in the distance, there may be some expectations or understanding or even hope of what I will find there but at this time, it is shrouded in secrecy because of the cloud. Nearer, in the middle distance, some things are showing their form but still not very clear or precise. In the foreground, the immediate, things are pretty obvious and identifiable but still there are areas hidden and as yet unexposed. In all areas, there are details of things I won't be sure about until I approach them, until I am nearer or even upon them and when the fog lifts, warmed by the rising sun. At any point, there may be 'no entry' signs or no clear access to the way ahead! 

So as examples, my 'way out in the distance' might include where will we be living and what will the Sweeties be doing? Middle distance I am asking what does our faith-walk look like and what will we be involved with in life? Near time is what is happening in my various relationships and how do I use my days in this time of comparative uncertainty and upheaval?

Then last night, as I was awake and up in the early hours as I sometimes am, my mind turned to some of my favourite verses in the Bible, from Psalm 73 -

photo: Cory Poole Photography

 'Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand; You guide me with Your counsel and after, You will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And being with you, there is nothing I desire on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.'

And here was when I thought about crushing the grape! Let me explain.

I had started to fret about uncertainties - isn't it always the way in the dead of night when all is quiet and everyone else is asleep?! I didn't feel very content to trust the 'foggy' areas to God. I always want to know NOW (That is why I read the end of a book first or look up film plots on IMDB!) I didn't even feel particularly close to Him so wasn't convinced about not needing anything else on earth but Him in those moments. 

Then I spied my guitar and picked it up. In the low light of the lamp, I strummed away with a few of the 6 or so chords I know how to play and just sang quietly the things that I knew about who God was and how amazing He is - my shield and defender, my rock, my satisfaction...

This simple act was like the crushing of a grape. 

You don't have to be strong to crush a grape but there is a sense of achievement, albeit a small one, and a certain satisfaction. Those simple small acts can grow. So, say, you start by crushing a grape and maybe move onto popping a plum, bursting a banana and then rip an apple in half with your bare hands! Progression. Satisfaction. Realisation that your experience doesn't stop at grapes. You are more! Inside you, there's more!

Dakota night

So I started worshipping simply and thoughts grew as I sang out. The little things I knew of God, sung out loud to a made up tune, stirred in my head and my spirit. I sang more and gazed long at Him in my imagination. Even the two simplest words, 'You are', sung over and over, penetrated my being and my love grew. He is; He IS; He really is all I need. My trust found its feet again and my burden lifted. I felt wrapped in His peace and deep in His presence. If I didn't need the beauty sleep, I might have gone out into the dark of night to find a puddle! Maybe tomorrow!

The Answer?...

When Hubs and I were away at the Encounter More conference at Causeway Coast Vineyard last week, I flicked over the page of my notebook to continue my frantic scribblings of the inspiring talk, only to be faced with another strange couple of scribbles on my blank page! It seems that, at some point past, one of my offspring (who shall remain nameless to save their blushes) was practising their soon-to-be-married signature in my nice blank-at-the-time book! Awww - how CUTE!

I quickly drew a box round each attempt in order to preserve them for posterity, and continued my own scribbles. I opened the page again this evening to review the notes I had made (Hope you are impressed with that act alone!) and saw the signatures. It made me think about identity. Mine. Ours. Children of God. Each chosen. Each unique and individual

With those practised signatures, my Sweetie was anticipating a change in her identity when she became a wife. Her name would change. Her role would change. Her life would change and she would have someone else, more than her own self to consider, in decisions she would make from that day on. Her relationship with me, her Momma, would shift in its ranking in her life. (Though I still maintain the truth that I have told all my Sweeties, 'You will find someone you love more than me but they will never love you as much as I do.') Another piece of Momma-advice I gave was that every person we meet - however brief that time may be - is an opportunity to change that person's life and we should try to make that change a good one by what we say or how we treat them.  

To get back to the conference, the notes I was looking through were to do with seeing God at work in my home community and two quotes stood out to me at this point by Julian Adams and Tre Sheppard respectively...

(for 'I', read yourself)...

"I am the answer my community is looking for"

"I am the Director of Hope in my city"

These statements may sound outrageous and presumptuous at first. 

Little old me? The Answer? The Director of Hope? 

Yes! Because the truth is, when we have the Holy Spirit in all His fullness living in us, with Jesus' promise that we will do the same as Him and even greater things, we bring something extraordinary with our lives and our presence into all the places we go. We ARE the fragrance of Christ and carry His glory. We change atmospheres because of our relationship with the living, loving, Almighty God. My choices in each interaction breathes hope, healing and life into others. The way I do it will fit the way God has made me - though I may also cross a comfort zone or two along the way.

Tre adds, " Be the God-flavour in areas that have lost their taste for God."

I love that. In choosing to believe that my relationship with Jesus changes me, I change life for others too. I may not FEEL that I carry the fragrance of Jesus, but I DO! He looms large in the small things that I do. He still looms large in the big steps I take 'over my edge'. The glory is always His.

Whilst I still do go into a coffee shop just to have a quiet drink, sometimes I purposefully ask Jesus if there is anyone there that day He wants to speak to through me; sometimes I meander mindlessly along the road or I can talk to Jesus about the street and pray change along it every step of my way; I can pack my groceries in silence or I can strike up a cheery conversation with the checkout server - maybe adding a drink and snack to my shopping to pass to the Big Issue seller outside. I am learning to listen for God to tell me things about folk that only He knows in order to tell it back to them so that they realise there is a loving God that cares intimately about them. I can choose to look sympathetically at a person passing by with an obvious ailment or step out in faith and pray believing prayers for healing with the authority that Jesus passed on. It's all part of the appointment given, the adventure of being the Answer or the Director of Hope in the place where I am at a moment in time - living my life in the different way of living that is called for in  this committed relationship.

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

Jim Whittaker

A Stormy Day in Portballintrae

SO! Hubs and I are here in Northern Ireland having an extra week break after a fabulous time at Causeway Coast Vineyard's 'Encounter More' conference. WHAT a challenge and inspiration it was. As well as hearing from Alan Scott and being taken out to minister on the streets of Coleraine with Mark Marx and Jason McNamara, we had talks from Rachel Hughes, Pete Greig, Julian Adams and David Ruis and I attended an utterly inspirational seminar by Tre Sheppard about bringing life to our city.
Now we are settled in a beautiful apartment right by the sea at Portballintrae and I am writing this from the living area balcony view, pictured yesterday in all the day's sunshine and blueness.

Today is a different story! The only thing to distinguish the grey sky from the grey sea - WHEN you can see either through the driving rain - is that the sea is a little darker at the moment! Wind splutters and moans through each crevice it can find here in the apartment. And if rain goblins really existed, then they are spitting raindrops through goblinny peashooters at the windows...tat-tat-tatatat! Hubs is currently pushing some zzzzzzzs on the bed after our hectic few days. Me - I LOVE this weather - when I am inside - or properly dressed for it outside!

When my Sweeties were little, whenever we had a storm, I would send them outside to play in their undies (sorry kids) and to dance in the rain which they absolutely LOVED and I loved seeing the joy of it all, enjoying their delighted squeals. Of course, now that they are older and know about lightning being able to strike and kill in storms, they have exclaimed, 'MOM!!! What were you THINKING?!' but it's a great memory. And I BET they will do it with their own offspring...and if they don't, well, what is THIS Nanna for? *sneaky wink*

Now, looking out through the window, I see the waves roll and lunge, compelled by nature towards the beach,  but being attacked by the driving wind seemingly trying to repel them back to the expanse of sea behind. But the waves are single-minded. They only have one goal - to reach the edge of the beach and they push relentlessly on. The wind is not giving up and whips off swathes of spray from the top of each wave as it bows over, tossing the 

surrendered water behind in a shower that is powerless to do anything but submit and sink back into the oblivion of the Big Briny. No glory. No victory this time. Time to bide.

As I watched this fight unfolding, I was mindful that so often, Nature reflects Life. And why wouldn't it? Both have the creative touch of God Almighty. Life can be a sunshiney blue-skyed beach one day and flip over to a gathering storm or a full blown typhoon on another. Unlike the sea, we have a choice in our circumstances, though our choices may resemble the waves. I can push on through the crazy and fulfil my destiny, called out by my Father God and my heart's desires. When I am knocked off course, I can rejoin the fray with renewed determination and purpose or I can settle for what the world tosses at me, bemoan my circumstances, blaming everything and everybody but myself and give up.

Back to my seat now. As the photo (roughly taken with my phone) shows, the storm didn't last. Unexpectedly, despite the weatherman's prediction of a 36 hour stormy onslaught, the storm passed. In the process, beauty broke out. The photo doesn't properly capture the breath-taking brilliance of the rainbow nor quite, the formation of a second just above but it gives witness to the notforeverness of the storm and reminds me that God is present in all our circumstances, even though we may not see it or perceive it until the storm passes.

Later that afternoon, Hubs and I walked down onto the beach and I sat on a stone watching the waves at close quarters, enjoying their thundering power. Enjoy it with me here (though you may want to switch off the sound as it was still mighty windy) and maybe, in the muted watching of it, 'Be still and know that He is God'