sometimes i sits and thinks and sometimes i just sits

 

A busy few days have passed.

Today was a LOOOONG shift at work (I work at a nursing home for 59 residents; 29 of them on my floor) - 7.30am until 8.45pm

I rarely work those as it tires me out and makes me ol' joints ache. HOWEVER, today it seemed special for several reasons.

It was a steadily busy shift almost all day with a couple of frantic episodes. At one time, whilst giving out the evening meds amidst the mealtime, some of the residents were being very demanding; two or three because of some degree of dementia; others because they just are!

At one point, I found myself becoming impatient and annoyed at what, in a younger, clear-minded person, would be downright rude, selfish and unreasonable behaviour and I heard myself snapping sharply at one lady - who IS rude but that's no excuse.

 

In my deepest, darkest and hidden world, I would shout something abusive at her and give her a slap.

I am shocked as I write that because it is a terrible thought but in that deep, dark world of mine, I would think she deserved it and I had a right to behave in that way.

I reflect that the world there doesn't work itself out because, 30 years ago, God burst into that darkness and lit it up with His love and grace; with His power and strength and that through His presence living in me, I am a new creation - I am changed and in Him. I can behave in ways He leads me. It amazes me!

 

Anyway - back to the medicine trolley...I feel the irritation rising. What to do?

I decide to duck behind the trolley and pray an arrow (brief help yelp) prayer for patience. I emerge and start singing (fairly quietly) Great Is Thy Faithfulness.

R, a young male carer who is equally as exasperated, calls over to ask whether I am singing to calm myself down.

'Yes'

It works and I carry on singing various other songs, including an old fave, 'As Time Goes By'

I think to myself, What A Wonderful World.....no, no  - that's another song title.

I think to myself that taking that very short time out to pray then think ahead about how I will deal with things, reaps benefits - both ways.

 

Over the rest of the evening (and it was a LONG evening) I have lots of opportunities to behave and speak towards folk in a way that makes them feel better and listened to. I hear one lady across the room, commenting to another what a nice lady I am as I persuade a confused gentleman to put his jumper and shoes back on. I chat to another gentleman's daughter on the phone about a small problem and leave her feeling confident and reassured about its resolution; I encourage one of the staff how I can trust her with whatever I ask her to do; I give R a cheery hug and make throwing actions at him, saying, 'Peace, Peace, Peace'!  I make another old gent 3 cups of tea in quick succession, with a sandwich because he has forgotten that he DID eat an evening meal and tell him for the umpteenth time that it is Friday and no, no-one is coming to take him out - all with a smile and acting as if each time is the first time.

I feel better. They feel better. The world feels better. And it feels like Father God is blowing me a kiss and blessings'

 

 

This is a picture of me aged 4

I am putting it here because I love it.

 



I wonder what I was thinking in that little head. I know I thought a lot as a child and I had fun in so many ways

 

Now as I work so much with old people who have lived their lives full and now reach that point of such physical restriction, with aged minds and bodies, lost or fading memories, and often poor control of basic bodily functions, I look at them and want to be always aware that they were once vitally alive; young and in love, beautiful inside and out, gifted, treasured and with a full complement of functioning brain cells. I want to be aware of all that so that I can remember that the outside has changed but they still deserve the best that life can give - and that God can give some of that best through me. I can be His hands, His mouth, His love to them and make their day special because I was in it.

 

 

One day, I will be that old person.

I hope someone who knows God will know me too.

And treats me like the Princess I am.

 

Whilst sometimes, it does do to just sits,

it does much better to sits and thinks - and take action.

 

Definitely buying that field